They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
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I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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