Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
