who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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