Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
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