Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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