I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
pop tarts are not kleenex
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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