at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
