Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
