well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
