I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
