i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
