white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
