Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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