it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
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I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
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well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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