I'm going to jail i love you
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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