I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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