Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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