just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
