Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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