i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
