you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
