she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
