go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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