I think I died a long time ago.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
