I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
