are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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