Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
