you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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