I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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