Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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