Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
