yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I smell stomach acid.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
