Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
