Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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