ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
