ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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