i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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