how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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