how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
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Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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