Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
