Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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