Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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