You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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