he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
