He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
