he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
