I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
