"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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