So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
