I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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