whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
