An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You're like the curious george of whores
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
