yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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