Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
