the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
