look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
