clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
